No woman ever plans to end up in an abusive marriage, but sadly, it happens a lot. If you are frightened of an abusive husband, taking steps to a successful divorce may seem daunting, especially if you worry about what he will do if he learns of your plans. For making the safest exit from the home of an abusive husband, follow these tips.
Getting To A Safe Place Is Vital
Before you file for a divorce, getting to a safe place is vital. Planning is extremely important to avoid bringing harm to yourself or your children, especially if your husband is hot tempered and apt to lash out at all of you when he learns of you leaving. If you have a family, discuss with them your plans. Staying with a relative that is the farthest from your husband's home is a good idea. If you do not have any family you can turn to, contacting a local safe house is best. Most areas do have safe harbors available for battered women and their children, most of them also having in place protective security against angry, abusive spouses.
You Need A Restraining Order And Temporary Full Custody
Once you are in a safe place, contacting law enforcement about getting a restraining order to legally keep your husband away from you is vital. If you have children, be sure to also get an order for temporary full custody so your husband cannot turn the tables on you and say you kidnapped them. You can get an order for temporary full custody through your area's legal aid office if you do not have the cash up front for a lawyer. If you are residing in a safe harbor home, you can also learn more about legal aid from safe harbor counselors. If you need cash and you have a joint banking account with your husband, take out half of what is in it. Leaving some will look good on you in court if he tries to say you stole his money.
Start Divorce Proceedings As Soon As Possible
Whether you secure legal aid or you pay for your own lawyer, starting divorce proceedings as soon as possible is important and your first step to freedom from abuse. Remember, if your husband tries to contact you by phone or in any other way, do not let him sweet talk you out of your plans. Keeping in mind the kind of abuse you have had to live with is vital. Abusers have a talent for talking their battered spouses back into coming home, a time when abuse can become extremely dangerous. Avoiding phone conversations and any other contact is best for your safety.
Ending a relationship can be tough, even one that is abusive. Taking one step at a time and looking ahead to a better life can help you see more clearly the path you need to stay on. Always discuss with a legal professional (such as Kenneth J. Molnar Attorney) your concerns and questions about divorce and how to maintain your safety after it is final.